Peter King: Vol. 14

Week 17. Let's do this, Pete.

But this was a week for the ages. And lucky me -- I got to see it all in NBC's fifth-floor viewing room at 30 Rock, with nine high-def TVs enthralling the cast of our Football Night in America show.

[Wait a second. Is this King or Mack Brown?]

In Minnesota, Giants, up 19-17 with five seconds left, call a timeout to freeze Ryan Longwell ... Uh, it's Minneapolis. Gotta be a hearty lad here. Nineteen degrees outside ... No Vikes kicker will be frozen today.

[Umm, Pete knows that the Vikings play in a dome, right? It was 71 degrees inside the dome yesterday. "Gotta" be hearty, indeed.]

There are few things in this job I take more seriously than my National Football League MVP vote for the Associated Press.

[His League MVP vote is right behind his paragraph about "all things coffee" that he insists on including in his weekly column. Sorry, Peyton! Get in line!]

My criteria have never changed. The inclusion of the word "valuable'' differentiates this from a player of the year award.

[And the fact that they are separate awards.]

If I'm voting for Offensive Player of the Year, for example, I'm likely voting for the individual who had the best season of anyone on offense[.]

[Yep. Go ahead and re-read that one a few times. I'm not even going to include a joke. Classic.]

For MVP, I ask myself this question: Which player, removed from his team, would have the biggest impact on the team's record?

[Because that isn't a completely arbitrary exercise or anything.]

Matt Ryan? I love him, and I love his candidacy. I can't argue with a soul who'd name him MVP.

[I could. 17th in completion %. 13th in passing yards. 16th in TD passes. 14th in INTs. 11th in QB Rating.]

I have been leaning toward Manning for the past four or five weeks, because I've felt the Colts would have been well below .500 without him....

[Wasn't everyone saying the same thing about the Patriots when Brady went down in Week 1?]

The story of Manning's 11th season is a good story, one he hasn't told this season to anyone else in my business -- to the best of my knowledge.

[I like how people (not just King) think that saying "to the best of my knowledge" absolves them from neglecting to actually research the point they are attempting to make. It is akin to starting a sentence with the phrase "With all due respect," and then assuming that you have immunitiy from whatever critical or insulting comment follows subsequently.]

Now onto the MVP issue. My take is Manning was the keystone to this team starting 3-4 instead of being out of it at 1-6.

[Blah.]

In the final nine games, Manning's 9-0 record led all NFL quarterbacks, Manning's 72-percent accuracy led all NFL quarterbacks, and Manning's 17-to-3 touchdown-to-interception (plus-14) differential led all NFL quarterbacks.

[Finally. There is absolutely a case to be made for Peyton. And this is it. The "keystone" bit? Bag it, Pete.]

Sunday was one of the five worst days in the 49-year history of the Dallas Cowboys.... I came to this conclusion: The Cowboys are the Yankees, in so many ways.

[And by "so many ways," Pete means "I don't like either team."]

New York has spent more money than every other team in baseball for the past eight years and not won a World Series. Dallas has acquired the most famous talent in all of football since 1997 and not won a playoff game. Twelve years, and counting.

[Nice "apples and oragnes" logic fail here.

For Dallas: If x then not y (where y = winning a playoff game).
For the Yankees: If x then not z (where z = winning a World Series).

Because, actually, for the Yankees: If x then LOTS of y.

The Yankees have made the playoffs 13 of the past 14 seasons. Winning playoff games in all of those playoff appearances. Also, the temporal element makes the comparison misleading as well. If Pete were to take the Yankees back twelve years as well, he would stumble upon a few World Series Championships. Nice effort.]

I see the Yankees are interested in signing Warren Buffett, then Bill Gates. But that won't be enough for them. Then they're going to ink three Saudi princes to Triple-A contracts.

[Hilarious.]