It doesn't happen often here at The Theorem, but every once in a while we stumble upon a particularly intriguing piece of sports journalism. Here's one by Thayer Evans in the New York Times about the lurid and mildly-shocking details surrounding an elite college football recruiting battle.
The fight was over Jamarkus McFarland, a 6-foot-3, 290-pound defensive tackle from Lufkin High School who is considered the state’s best defensive prospect this year and one of the nation’s most promising players. He is also a top student and the president of his class.
[In other words, this kid sounds like an elite prospect AND a classy dude.]
Along the way, McFarland was wined and dined. He visited the house of the president of Oklahoma, where he was promised a spot in the prestigious President’s Leadership Class. He rode in a Hummer stretch limousine in Los Angeles. He attended parties, including one in Dallas, where he said there was free alcohol, drugs and young women taking off their clothes.
[Actually, that last part might have been redundant-- that is simply the weekly agenda for Oklahoma's prestigious President's Leadership Class.]
McFarland made four official visits during his recruitment — to Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana State and Southern California. He said he saw everything from flat-screen televisions in Texas Coach Mack Brown’s bathrooms to L.S.U.’s recruiting hostesses sitting on the laps of prospects.
[Uh oh. I don't think I like where this is headed....]
But the best summation of his experience might have come from a paper he wrote for his English class comparing Oklahoma and Texas. The paper, “Red River Rivals Recruit,” includes a description of a wild party hosted by Longhorns fans at an upscale hotel in Dallas after the Oklahoma-Texas game on Oct. 11.
[Sure as hell beats a book report on "Oliver Twist," right?]
“I will never forget the excitement amongst all participants,” McFarland wrote. “Alcohol was all you can drink, money was not an option. Girls were acting wild by taking off their tops, and pulling down their pants. Girls were also romancing each other. Some guys loved every minute of the freakiness some girls demonstrated. I have never attended a party of this magnitude.”
[Despite the unsavory scene described, I still, for whatever reason, find his diplomatic description humorous. A party of this "magnitude?" Ha, nice.]
He compared that with a house party hosted by a sorority at Oklahoma. “Drinks were plentiful, but not to the extent they were” at the Dallas party, he wrote. “Some people were tipsy, but in control of themselves.”
[Not "romancing each other."]
After Texas beat Baylor that weekend, McFarland and his mother ate dinner at Brown’s home. Flat-screen televisions were in every room, and there were two outside. “Whose house do you like better, Bob Stoops’s, Les Miles’s or mine?” Adams recalled Brown saying.
[I don't quite know how to put this.... I'm... kind of a big deal. People know me. I have many leather-bound books. And my apartment smells of rich mahogany.]
In mid-November, McFarland and his mother had their first extensive sit-down conversation about his future.... Yet he worried what an Oklahoma degree would mean for landing a job in Texas. He also thought that the Longhorns offered him the best education and that Austin had the most entertainment.
[None of the other schools had entertainment of that "magnitude."]
Adams presented her son with a list of pros and cons for Louisiana State, Oklahoma and Texas. One of her dislikes about Louisiana State was that a maid would clean her son’s dorm room weekly.
[Really?]
Texas made another visit to McFarland’s school, but again, they did not see Adams. After the visit, Adams received an e-mail message from Brown. “It is obvious that the recruiting has put a strain on your relationship,” the message said. “JaMac wants Texas, and Mom wants OU. We want you to still come to Texas, but we are going to slow our process down because you two need some time to get on the same page. We do not want players at Texas if everyone isn’t on the same page.” McFarland’s mother and grandmother were offended.
[I-- I'm friends with Merlin Olson, too. He comes over on occasion.]
On Dec. 17, Stoops and Shipp visited McFarland on behalf of Oklahoma.... While at McFarland’s house, Stoops offered to set the table for dinner and helped carry in ribs and potato salad. After a second serving of ribs and some peach cobbler, he sat on the couch with McFarland and his grandmother and watched the movie “Beauty Shop,” starring Queen Latifah and Alicia Silverstone.
[Alicia Silverstone was in "Beauty Shop?"]
Earlier this month, a former classmate called Adams and asked if she would coax her son into attending Texas. If so, a banker had promised the former classmate any type of loan.
[Random bankers are getting involved now??]
A week later, McFarland’s mind was made up. “I’m pretty glad it’s over,” he said by Thursday. “This is a good thing to have out of the way. Everyone’s satisfied.” Especially Oklahoma, which received a Texas-size Christmas gift.
[Stay classy, college athletics!]
Friday, December 26, 2008
Lake-Show Have More Want-to-win-ness than Celtics
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas. As I'm sure many of you saw, The Lakers did. But why? Well, for answers to tough questions like that I turn to the steady hand of professional journalists, such as Steve Dilbeck of the Daily News.
Despite the great run the Celtics were on, despite the glare of a nationally-televised Christmas Day game, this game was more important to the Lakers, and ultimately they played like it.
[Saying something = making it true.]
The Lakers thought they were improved because of last year's experience and the addition of a healthy Andrew Bynum and Trevor Ariza. But they needed evidence to believe it was enough to beat Boston.
[Needed evidence? I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with that concept.... Can't I just *say* something and make it so? For example,...]
Pau Gasol, again badly outplayed by Kevin Garnett most of the night, lit up.
[Yep. Making a few open jumpers in the final few minutes >>> Getting destroyed by KG for the previous 45 minutes.]
Here's another thought: Instead of pointing to an amorphous and arbitrary reason like "wanting it more" to explain the Lakers' win, let's try looking at something that's actually quantifiable. Here's a simple one: Kobe.
Yesterday's game (Laker win): 13-23, 27 points.
Game 1 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 9-26, 24 points.
Game 2 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 11-23, 30 points.
Game 3 '08 Finals (Laker win): 12-20, 36 points.
Game 4 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 6-19, 17 points.
Game 5 '08 Finals (Laker win): 8-21, 25 points.
Game 6 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 7-22, 22 points.
11/27/07 against Celtics (Laker loss): 9-21, 28 points.
12/30/07 against Celtics (Laker loss): 6-25, 22 points.
So, against this KG-RayRay-Pierce Celtic team, Kobe is shooting 35.3% from the field for 23.8 ppg when the Lakers lose, and Kobe is shooting 51.6% for 29.3 ppg when the Lakers win.
In the humble opinion of this idiot-with-an-internet-connection, in analyzing the factors that may directly impact the performance of the Lake-Show, "Kobe playing well" >>>> "Laker players gritting teeth really hard."
Despite the great run the Celtics were on, despite the glare of a nationally-televised Christmas Day game, this game was more important to the Lakers, and ultimately they played like it.
[Saying something = making it true.]
The Lakers thought they were improved because of last year's experience and the addition of a healthy Andrew Bynum and Trevor Ariza. But they needed evidence to believe it was enough to beat Boston.
[Needed evidence? I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with that concept.... Can't I just *say* something and make it so? For example,...]
Pau Gasol, again badly outplayed by Kevin Garnett most of the night, lit up.
[Yep. Making a few open jumpers in the final few minutes >>> Getting destroyed by KG for the previous 45 minutes.]
Here's another thought: Instead of pointing to an amorphous and arbitrary reason like "wanting it more" to explain the Lakers' win, let's try looking at something that's actually quantifiable. Here's a simple one: Kobe.
Yesterday's game (Laker win): 13-23, 27 points.
Game 1 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 9-26, 24 points.
Game 2 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 11-23, 30 points.
Game 3 '08 Finals (Laker win): 12-20, 36 points.
Game 4 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 6-19, 17 points.
Game 5 '08 Finals (Laker win): 8-21, 25 points.
Game 6 '08 Finals (Laker loss): 7-22, 22 points.
11/27/07 against Celtics (Laker loss): 9-21, 28 points.
12/30/07 against Celtics (Laker loss): 6-25, 22 points.
So, against this KG-RayRay-Pierce Celtic team, Kobe is shooting 35.3% from the field for 23.8 ppg when the Lakers lose, and Kobe is shooting 51.6% for 29.3 ppg when the Lakers win.
In the humble opinion of this idiot-with-an-internet-connection, in analyzing the factors that may directly impact the performance of the Lake-Show, "Kobe playing well" >>>> "Laker players gritting teeth really hard."
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Peter King: Vol. 13
A couple quick e-mail exchanges between Pete and his minions.
From Brian, of Baltimore: "Peter, I wanted to write in about Joe Paterno. As a Penn State alumni, I know I'm biased, but it seems contradictory to laud Mike Holmgren for his ability to impact player's lives, then in the next breath ignore Paterno's impact on his players. His players love playing for him, and kids come to Penn State to play for the legend. And 40 wins in 4 years isn't too shabby."
Pete:
Holmgren is 60. Paterno is 82, coming off health issues. He is one of the giants in the history of college football, and of coaching in general. But every man has to know when to say when, and every organization has to know when to say when. It's time to say when, and Paterno and Penn State didn't do it.
[Hey, Pete, you know what other numbers are telling? Their respective 2008 records.
Holmgren: 4-11
Paterno: 11-1
But yeah, knowing "when to say when" is a waaaay better means of determining when a coach should hang 'em up.]
From Harry Hix, of Stillwater, Okla.: "Enjoy your column and appreciated your comments on T.O. and Ed Werder. But, the comment, 'Sad day for journalism,' is based on a false assumption. That assumption is that ESPN is journalism. It's not and hasn't been for years. And that's sad."
Pete:
ESPN deserves that shot.
[So says the guy who coined the phrase "almost literally." Professional journalism.]
From Brian, of Baltimore: "Peter, I wanted to write in about Joe Paterno. As a Penn State alumni, I know I'm biased, but it seems contradictory to laud Mike Holmgren for his ability to impact player's lives, then in the next breath ignore Paterno's impact on his players. His players love playing for him, and kids come to Penn State to play for the legend. And 40 wins in 4 years isn't too shabby."
Pete:
Holmgren is 60. Paterno is 82, coming off health issues. He is one of the giants in the history of college football, and of coaching in general. But every man has to know when to say when, and every organization has to know when to say when. It's time to say when, and Paterno and Penn State didn't do it.
[Hey, Pete, you know what other numbers are telling? Their respective 2008 records.
Holmgren: 4-11
Paterno: 11-1
But yeah, knowing "when to say when" is a waaaay better means of determining when a coach should hang 'em up.]
From Harry Hix, of Stillwater, Okla.: "Enjoy your column and appreciated your comments on T.O. and Ed Werder. But, the comment, 'Sad day for journalism,' is based on a false assumption. That assumption is that ESPN is journalism. It's not and hasn't been for years. And that's sad."
Pete:
ESPN deserves that shot.
[So says the guy who coined the phrase "almost literally." Professional journalism.]
You KNEW this was coming....
On the heels of the Teixiera signing, the sports media took umbrage. Lots and lots of umbrage. The umbrage ranged from Mike Lupica's whining to Bob Ryan's bizarrely-written gibberish. But I think that Phil Sheridan's take is my favorite.
The New York Yankees represent the very worst of America.
[Obviously he's making an absurd overstatement just to draw in the reader.]
Overstatement? Consider the times.
[Wait. He was being serious. Oh.]
Cornerstone industries are faltering, taxpayers are being asked to bail out mismanaged financial institutions and their overpaid CEOs, and decent, hard-working men and women are being laid off or worrying that they could be next.
[And it's all because of the Yankees. I mean, the causal relationship is undeniable!]
Now consider the eight-year, $180 million contract the Yankees reportedly handed first baseman Mark Teixeira yesterday. Stack it on top of the $161 million deal signed by pitcher CC Sabathia and the (relatively) modest $82.5 million promised to A.J. Burnett and you have the most egregious display of financial irresponsibility in the history of sports.
[Calling something "irresponsible" doesn't actually MAKE it irresponsible. I am willing to bet that the Yankees operate under a business model that doesn't revolve around "getting distracted by shiny objects."]
If Major League Baseball had a commissioner - that is, an independent and strong-willed leader unafraid to do the right thing - the Teixeira and Sabathia deals would be nullified based on the commissioner's sweeping "best interest of the game" powers.
[Is that a serious suggestion? Is Sheridan for real? Two parties negotiate, which ultimately results in an agreement, and some random third party should come in and nullify the deal based on the "Because I said so" principle? Worst. Idea. Ever.]
What's wrong here is obvious.
[Spoiler alert: It's Phil Sheridan.]
Unlike the NFL, NBA and NHL, baseball has no salary cap.
[I know! C'mon, baseball. Why can't you be more like the NHL??]
In fairness, MLB did create a luxury tax system that punishes overspenders such as the Yankees and Red Sox and adds revenue to the coffers of teams such as Florida and Kansas City. Of course, that system also gives some of the small-market teams a disincentive to spend money to win. They can pocket their free money from New York and Boston and continue to flounder on the field.
[Doesn't this argument cut AGAINST Sheridan's thesis?]
The Yankees have proved for the last five years that buying the highest-priced players does not guarantee you a title.
[Again. Right?]
Baseball economics always have been bad for competitive balance, but this Yankees spree is the worst ever because of real-world economics.
[Care to elaborate?]
It just smells bad.
[Check. And. Mate.]
In case anyone other than me was interested in ACTUAL analysis of this signing, check out Keith Law's blog entry.
[See? That wasn't so hard now was it?]
The New York Yankees represent the very worst of America.
[Obviously he's making an absurd overstatement just to draw in the reader.]
Overstatement? Consider the times.
[Wait. He was being serious. Oh.]
Cornerstone industries are faltering, taxpayers are being asked to bail out mismanaged financial institutions and their overpaid CEOs, and decent, hard-working men and women are being laid off or worrying that they could be next.
[And it's all because of the Yankees. I mean, the causal relationship is undeniable!]
Now consider the eight-year, $180 million contract the Yankees reportedly handed first baseman Mark Teixeira yesterday. Stack it on top of the $161 million deal signed by pitcher CC Sabathia and the (relatively) modest $82.5 million promised to A.J. Burnett and you have the most egregious display of financial irresponsibility in the history of sports.
[Calling something "irresponsible" doesn't actually MAKE it irresponsible. I am willing to bet that the Yankees operate under a business model that doesn't revolve around "getting distracted by shiny objects."]
If Major League Baseball had a commissioner - that is, an independent and strong-willed leader unafraid to do the right thing - the Teixeira and Sabathia deals would be nullified based on the commissioner's sweeping "best interest of the game" powers.
[Is that a serious suggestion? Is Sheridan for real? Two parties negotiate, which ultimately results in an agreement, and some random third party should come in and nullify the deal based on the "Because I said so" principle? Worst. Idea. Ever.]
What's wrong here is obvious.
[Spoiler alert: It's Phil Sheridan.]
Unlike the NFL, NBA and NHL, baseball has no salary cap.
[I know! C'mon, baseball. Why can't you be more like the NHL??]
In fairness, MLB did create a luxury tax system that punishes overspenders such as the Yankees and Red Sox and adds revenue to the coffers of teams such as Florida and Kansas City. Of course, that system also gives some of the small-market teams a disincentive to spend money to win. They can pocket their free money from New York and Boston and continue to flounder on the field.
[Doesn't this argument cut AGAINST Sheridan's thesis?]
The Yankees have proved for the last five years that buying the highest-priced players does not guarantee you a title.
[Again. Right?]
Baseball economics always have been bad for competitive balance, but this Yankees spree is the worst ever because of real-world economics.
[Care to elaborate?]
It just smells bad.
[Check. And. Mate.]
In case anyone other than me was interested in ACTUAL analysis of this signing, check out Keith Law's blog entry.
[Teixiera is] probably the best defensive player relative to his position on the Yankees now, and could be one of only two or three who are above average depending on how the rest of the roster shakes out. He adds significant power to a lineup that had just two players slug over .500 this past year, and his .410 OBP in 2008 would have led the Yankees by 18 points.
Coupled with the loss of Jason Giambi, the signing of Teixeira means a net gain to the Yankees of four to five wins, considering both his bat and his defense. He also eliminates the need the Yankees had for a right-handed caddy for Giambi, since Teixeira is a true switch-hitter with power and patience from both sides of the plate.
[See? That wasn't so hard now was it?]
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Well-played, Rod Marinelli
Remember yesterday when we lampooned a bit of the Rob Parker article? Yeah, well apparently that whole thing has turned into a huge media "controversy."
Rob Parker, a columnist for the Detroit News who made some national headlines for asking Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli whether he wished his daughter had married "a better defensive coordinator," explained his position Monday in his newspaper column.
[This is what goes for national headlines nowadays?]
Parker has repeatedly questioned Marinelli about his defensive coordinator, Joe Barry, who also is Marinelli's son-in-law. On Sunday, after the Lions lost 42-7 to New Orleans, Parker asked: "On a light note, do you wish your daughter would have married a better defensive coordinator?"
[That's offensive? Really? But I am just a sardonic nobody with internet access, what do I know? Let's see what professional journalist-types think:]
FOX television showed the question, prompting analyst Terry Bradshaw to say: "You're a disgrace to your profession, my friend. You're a total idiot."
[And if you were curious, yes, Bradshaw will do the entire pre-game show next weekend from atop his cross.]
Marinelli ignored the question during his news conference after Sunday's game. Monday, he blasted Parker. "Anytime you attack my daughter, I've got a problem with that ..." Marinelli said. "It was premeditated. I think there's something wrong with that." Did it cross the line? "Big-time," Marinelli said.
[I am REALLY hard-pressed to see how that is an "attack" on anyone. Lighten up, people.
That being said, I am pretty sure that Marinelli has actually crafted an ingenius plan of self-preservation.
Think about it. The Lions are one game away from becoming the worst team in the HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS. That seems like reasonable grounds for termination, right? So if you are Marinelli, why not distract everyone from your team's utterly woeful season with a completely fabricated controversy with the evil media?!? Not bad, eh?]
Rob Parker, a columnist for the Detroit News who made some national headlines for asking Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli whether he wished his daughter had married "a better defensive coordinator," explained his position Monday in his newspaper column.
[This is what goes for national headlines nowadays?]
Parker has repeatedly questioned Marinelli about his defensive coordinator, Joe Barry, who also is Marinelli's son-in-law. On Sunday, after the Lions lost 42-7 to New Orleans, Parker asked: "On a light note, do you wish your daughter would have married a better defensive coordinator?"
[That's offensive? Really? But I am just a sardonic nobody with internet access, what do I know? Let's see what professional journalist-types think:]
FOX television showed the question, prompting analyst Terry Bradshaw to say: "You're a disgrace to your profession, my friend. You're a total idiot."
[And if you were curious, yes, Bradshaw will do the entire pre-game show next weekend from atop his cross.]
Marinelli ignored the question during his news conference after Sunday's game. Monday, he blasted Parker. "Anytime you attack my daughter, I've got a problem with that ..." Marinelli said. "It was premeditated. I think there's something wrong with that." Did it cross the line? "Big-time," Marinelli said.
[I am REALLY hard-pressed to see how that is an "attack" on anyone. Lighten up, people.
That being said, I am pretty sure that Marinelli has actually crafted an ingenius plan of self-preservation.
Think about it. The Lions are one game away from becoming the worst team in the HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS. That seems like reasonable grounds for termination, right? So if you are Marinelli, why not distract everyone from your team's utterly woeful season with a completely fabricated controversy with the evil media?!? Not bad, eh?]
Monday, December 22, 2008
Let's All Blame the Broncos' Good Player
There is this concept in football – in all of team sports really – that the performance of all members of the team is critical to that team winning games. Individuals can have great games, seasons or careers on losing teams not because they aren’t awesome enough players (see Ernie Banks, Bert Blyleven, Kevin Garnett, etc and so on for examples of good players whose teams weren’t successful through no fault of their own) but because the others guys on their team aren’t awesome enough players. In many cases, the other plays on their team are just bad. Like, really bad.
Bernie Lincicome, I know that you understand this concept.
I know that you do.
You just don’t want to, and try to ignore it. And that makes me sad for you.
The Drive that wasn't. The Drives that weren't.
On the day that Jay Cutler became the greatest single-season passer in Broncos history, only two passes matter. Interception. Incomplete.
This is a classic logic fail. In addition to the stats showing that Jay Cutler has been awesome all season, in this last game he was 25 for 45 and 359 yards passing. I am pretty sure that for the Broncos, in their 30-23 loss to the Bills, more passes mattered than just the two that Bernie mentions. Because, well, without those earlier passes, the Broncos would not have scored the points that kept the game that close.
One pass ended a drive at the goal line, one pass ended a drive at the back of the end zone, one football nestling in the arms of a Buffalo linebacker and the other clattering beyond the hands of Broncos receiver Brandon Stokley.
Also, 25 passes were completed for 359 yards.
"(I) had my hands on the last one, I should have caught it . . . ," said Stokley. "That's the plays I've got to make."
And another pass should have been completed but the receiver screwed up.
Both of the above points are proof positive, of course, that Cutler really blew this one.
Not that the defense is not in line for its usual ridicule. They continue to tackle like passengers. Luggage gets harder wear.
The worst part, Bernie, is that you know better than to blame Cutler for this loss. You know that there are really sub-par players on the Broncos and are even able to point to who they are because you either quote them or tell me directly…but when it comes time to apportion the blame, you decide to go with the guy who is having a great season.
You hurt my heart.
Cutler has won games the Broncos should have lost and he has lost games the Broncos should have won.
I should have watched the Broncos more. Then not only would I have seen the awe-inspiring sight of a single man lining up alone on offense and defense against full NFL teams and beating them, but I would have seen how that lone man was also able to set the single-season passing record by throwing only to himself.
And that is where the real difficulty lies, if you think about it.
This was one of those he should have won.
By himself. Because that is how real men play football.
Cutler's 4,210 yards moved him past Jake Plummer for a season, and his 25 completions passed John Elway for most (351) in a season.
So, considering that Cutler is demonstrably playing well, perhaps there are other reasons that the Broncos didn’t win yesterday.
In fact, you may have mentioned it earlier in this very article…
To put this in perspective, recall the words of Mark Twain: "There are lies, damned lies and statistics."
To put this in perspective, there is logic, there is illogic and there is Bernie Lincicome.
Bernie Lincicome, I know that you understand this concept.
I know that you do.
You just don’t want to, and try to ignore it. And that makes me sad for you.
The Drive that wasn't. The Drives that weren't.
On the day that Jay Cutler became the greatest single-season passer in Broncos history, only two passes matter. Interception. Incomplete.
This is a classic logic fail. In addition to the stats showing that Jay Cutler has been awesome all season, in this last game he was 25 for 45 and 359 yards passing. I am pretty sure that for the Broncos, in their 30-23 loss to the Bills, more passes mattered than just the two that Bernie mentions. Because, well, without those earlier passes, the Broncos would not have scored the points that kept the game that close.
One pass ended a drive at the goal line, one pass ended a drive at the back of the end zone, one football nestling in the arms of a Buffalo linebacker and the other clattering beyond the hands of Broncos receiver Brandon Stokley.
Also, 25 passes were completed for 359 yards.
"(I) had my hands on the last one, I should have caught it . . . ," said Stokley. "That's the plays I've got to make."
And another pass should have been completed but the receiver screwed up.
Both of the above points are proof positive, of course, that Cutler really blew this one.
Not that the defense is not in line for its usual ridicule. They continue to tackle like passengers. Luggage gets harder wear.
The worst part, Bernie, is that you know better than to blame Cutler for this loss. You know that there are really sub-par players on the Broncos and are even able to point to who they are because you either quote them or tell me directly…but when it comes time to apportion the blame, you decide to go with the guy who is having a great season.
You hurt my heart.
Cutler has won games the Broncos should have lost and he has lost games the Broncos should have won.
I should have watched the Broncos more. Then not only would I have seen the awe-inspiring sight of a single man lining up alone on offense and defense against full NFL teams and beating them, but I would have seen how that lone man was also able to set the single-season passing record by throwing only to himself.
And that is where the real difficulty lies, if you think about it.
This was one of those he should have won.
By himself. Because that is how real men play football.
Cutler's 4,210 yards moved him past Jake Plummer for a season, and his 25 completions passed John Elway for most (351) in a season.
So, considering that Cutler is demonstrably playing well, perhaps there are other reasons that the Broncos didn’t win yesterday.
In fact, you may have mentioned it earlier in this very article…
To put this in perspective, recall the words of Mark Twain: "There are lies, damned lies and statistics."
To put this in perspective, there is logic, there is illogic and there is Bernie Lincicome.
Positive Reinforcement = Proof of Professional Journalism
I was set to call it a day until someone sent me this article. Rob Parker of the Detroit News, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like you.
Rod Marinelli and I have a different relationship.
[(Cue wah pedal guitar riff)]
On the surface, you might think it's adversarial. He hates me and I hate him. In reality, it's one built on mutual respect.
[Parker and Marinelli are the Ron Burgunday and Wes Mantooth of the sports world.]
I respect what Marinelli is trying to accomplish as Lions coach....
[Really?]
During Sunday's postgame news conference... I attempted to lighten the moment in a tense situation and asked Marinelli if he wished his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator. Joe Barry, the Lions defensive coordinator, is Marinelli's son-in-law.
[Actually, that is kind of funny. I mean, what else do they have to talk about at a Lions post-game presser?]
Marinelli didn't flinch, he just ignored my attempt at humor and moved on.
[Mutual respect.]
Mutual respect.
[Exactly.]
Often, after some of the most intense line of questioning from me, Marinelli and I have walked off to the side and chatted.
[This article is now nothing more than the old "The Chris Farley Show" SNL skit. Hey, remember after that one press conference when you came up to me? That was awesome.]
Marinelli has gone out of his way several times to offer words of encouragement. A month or so ago, he called me on my cell phone and told me I was one of the best at asking questions and that I shouldn't change because I hit a bump in the road.
[Professional journalism: Because Rod Marinelli said so.]
Rod Marinelli and I have a different relationship.
[(Cue wah pedal guitar riff)]
On the surface, you might think it's adversarial. He hates me and I hate him. In reality, it's one built on mutual respect.
[Parker and Marinelli are the Ron Burgunday and Wes Mantooth of the sports world.]
I respect what Marinelli is trying to accomplish as Lions coach....
[Really?]
During Sunday's postgame news conference... I attempted to lighten the moment in a tense situation and asked Marinelli if he wished his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator. Joe Barry, the Lions defensive coordinator, is Marinelli's son-in-law.
[Actually, that is kind of funny. I mean, what else do they have to talk about at a Lions post-game presser?]
Marinelli didn't flinch, he just ignored my attempt at humor and moved on.
[Mutual respect.]
Mutual respect.
[Exactly.]
Often, after some of the most intense line of questioning from me, Marinelli and I have walked off to the side and chatted.
[This article is now nothing more than the old "The Chris Farley Show" SNL skit. Hey, remember after that one press conference when you came up to me? That was awesome.]
Marinelli has gone out of his way several times to offer words of encouragement. A month or so ago, he called me on my cell phone and told me I was one of the best at asking questions and that I shouldn't change because I hit a bump in the road.
[Professional journalism: Because Rod Marinelli said so.]
Jason Whitlock: Vol. 5
Busy day on The Theorem (now that Nils has emerged from his coma). Let's keep it going with another gem from one of our favorites.
I see Tommy Tuberville as the lone victim in the Gene Chizik-Turner Gill-Charles Barkley controversy surrounding Auburn football.
[I have to agree with Whitlock here. Tuberville had a great tenure at Auburn. The firing seemed pretty reactionary to one sub-par season.]
If his name was Tommy Obama and his father was an irresponsible Kenyan, there would be blood filling the streets of Alabama this week.
[Well, agreeing with Whitlock was fun while it lasted. I have no idea where he's going with this analogy. I'm pretty sure that Obama lost Alabama in resounding fashion. Although, maybe "Tommy" Obama isn't a metaphorical person, but is actually some dude that Whitlock knows, and who happens to be all the rage in Alabama.]
OK, now that I have your attention, buckle up.
[Yes....]
We're going to travel deep into the college football-black coaches maze.
[Deep? I thought there were only like five black coaches? Whatever, I am buckled. Let's do this.]
It's an important topic, an issue that should be addressed with a level of sophistication and honesty that a Hall of Fame basketball player and rabble-rouser can't muster.
[That's right. Sorry, Barkley, but such an important issue can only be sufficiently analyzed by a professional journalist with well thought-out and articulated theories on the subject.]
Turner Gill, the black head football coach at Buffalo, is one of the most promising coaches in the game. He has a chance to be a superstar. Auburn wasn't the right "fit" for Gill.
[Nailed it! Journalism and/or race-relations award, please!]
Unlike pro football, and pro and college basketball, you don't really land college football jobs with your resume.
[For example, did you know that Charlie Weis landed the ND job solely because he and then-AD Kevin White both loved Bon Jovi? Or that Joe Paterno just landed his 3-year extension because he correctly answered the "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten" question?]
Turner Gill is not ready for the BCS. He's had one winning season in three as a head coach. His signature victory — an upset of Ball State in the MAC championship — came on a night when his opponent gave the game away with turnovers.
[Obviously. Because Ball State is AWESOME. They committed those turnovers on purpose. That championship game was beneath them. Pshawww.]
There was no coaching masterpiece. Skin color and a 15-22 record don't qualify you to coach in the SEC.
[Seemed to do the trick for Gene Chizik, no?]
Let me repeat: Turner Gill has all the necessary ingredients to be a coaching star. He could be the black Urban Meyer if we allow Gill to develop.
[Huh?]
Urban Meyer introduced an offensive system (the spread), molded two mid-major programs (Bowling Green and Utah) into squads that routinely whipped BCS schools and then jumped to Florida and the SEC.
[That last sentence can be described as "highly exaggerated" if we are willing to be generous. Meyer introduced the spread? To whom?]
Whitlock spends the rest of the article slinging arrows at the Ball State administration. Non sequiturs. Professional journalism.
I see Tommy Tuberville as the lone victim in the Gene Chizik-Turner Gill-Charles Barkley controversy surrounding Auburn football.
[I have to agree with Whitlock here. Tuberville had a great tenure at Auburn. The firing seemed pretty reactionary to one sub-par season.]
If his name was Tommy Obama and his father was an irresponsible Kenyan, there would be blood filling the streets of Alabama this week.
[Well, agreeing with Whitlock was fun while it lasted. I have no idea where he's going with this analogy. I'm pretty sure that Obama lost Alabama in resounding fashion. Although, maybe "Tommy" Obama isn't a metaphorical person, but is actually some dude that Whitlock knows, and who happens to be all the rage in Alabama.]
OK, now that I have your attention, buckle up.
[Yes....]
We're going to travel deep into the college football-black coaches maze.
[Deep? I thought there were only like five black coaches? Whatever, I am buckled. Let's do this.]
It's an important topic, an issue that should be addressed with a level of sophistication and honesty that a Hall of Fame basketball player and rabble-rouser can't muster.
[That's right. Sorry, Barkley, but such an important issue can only be sufficiently analyzed by a professional journalist with well thought-out and articulated theories on the subject.]
Turner Gill, the black head football coach at Buffalo, is one of the most promising coaches in the game. He has a chance to be a superstar. Auburn wasn't the right "fit" for Gill.
[Nailed it! Journalism and/or race-relations award, please!]
Unlike pro football, and pro and college basketball, you don't really land college football jobs with your resume.
[For example, did you know that Charlie Weis landed the ND job solely because he and then-AD Kevin White both loved Bon Jovi? Or that Joe Paterno just landed his 3-year extension because he correctly answered the "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten" question?]
Turner Gill is not ready for the BCS. He's had one winning season in three as a head coach. His signature victory — an upset of Ball State in the MAC championship — came on a night when his opponent gave the game away with turnovers.
[Obviously. Because Ball State is AWESOME. They committed those turnovers on purpose. That championship game was beneath them. Pshawww.]
There was no coaching masterpiece. Skin color and a 15-22 record don't qualify you to coach in the SEC.
[Seemed to do the trick for Gene Chizik, no?]
Let me repeat: Turner Gill has all the necessary ingredients to be a coaching star. He could be the black Urban Meyer if we allow Gill to develop.
[Huh?]
Urban Meyer introduced an offensive system (the spread), molded two mid-major programs (Bowling Green and Utah) into squads that routinely whipped BCS schools and then jumped to Florida and the SEC.
[That last sentence can be described as "highly exaggerated" if we are willing to be generous. Meyer introduced the spread? To whom?]
Whitlock spends the rest of the article slinging arrows at the Ball State administration. Non sequiturs. Professional journalism.
There Already is a "Greg Oden of Blogging"
His name is....... Greg Oden.
Yep, Oden has his own blog.
And he posts entries just about as frequently as he posts decent box scores, so the analogy even works for him too. What's his blog like? Glad you asked.
Hey Nils, something tells me that you are now in the market for a new anology.
Yep, Oden has his own blog.
And he posts entries just about as frequently as he posts decent box scores, so the analogy even works for him too. What's his blog like? Glad you asked.
We are on a week long east coast road trip, as of now we are 3-0. We play Boston tomorrow and Toronto on sunday. Those are two really good teams, they will be really tough to win and being at there place. The road trip has been good so far besides basketball they are some really good cities that we have been too. In Detroit i got to see my mom so that was good. Then in New York i just like it, me and Steve Blake went out to dinner and i got to see some of the places that were on this weeks episode of Gossip Girl.
Hey Nils, something tells me that you are now in the market for a new anology.
The Greg Oden of Blogging
As a regular reader, if there were a regular reader, would know, I have been posting only sporadically, especially compared to the incomparably prolific Archie Leach. 1. That will change. 2. It was the impetus for a funny exchange between Archie and myself as we tried to determine which NBA player I was the blogging equivalent of.
I opened with Brian Scalabrine, positing that I was much-rumored but little seen.
Archie responded that Scalabrine actually plays and, based on recent record, I was the Stephon Marbury of blogging.
Knowing that I had some good posts coming and not wanting to be tainted by association with Starbury, I proposed that I was actually the Greg Oden of blogging – around enough to show glimpses of promise before disappearing for an interminable length of time because of physical ailments. Of course, in my case the physical ailments are recovering from hangovers. It’s just an analogy.
And the analogy just got better as I am at least as marketable as the big man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXbpB-rlung
I opened with Brian Scalabrine, positing that I was much-rumored but little seen.
Archie responded that Scalabrine actually plays and, based on recent record, I was the Stephon Marbury of blogging.
Knowing that I had some good posts coming and not wanting to be tainted by association with Starbury, I proposed that I was actually the Greg Oden of blogging – around enough to show glimpses of promise before disappearing for an interminable length of time because of physical ailments. Of course, in my case the physical ailments are recovering from hangovers. It’s just an analogy.
And the analogy just got better as I am at least as marketable as the big man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXbpB-rlung
Peter King: Vol. 12
A pretty exciting NFL weekend. I have high hopes for Pete this morning.
No wonder Tennessee wins every year. The Titans have the best defensive depth in recent NFL history.
[A couple of things wrong with this absurdly exaggerated couplet. One, while the Titans received impressive contributions from backup players yesterday, one game does not lend itself to a "best (anything) in recent NFL history" statement. One game. Settle down. And two, Tennessee wins every year? Really? Unless Pete is referring to Univ. of Tennessee women's basketball, I'm pretty sure he just made that up. Let's check:
2008: 13-2
2007: 10-6
2006: 8-8
2005: 4-12
2004: 5-11
I will skip the subsequent five pages that Pete wastes talking about coffee, Leon Washinton's eyes, Holmgren's last home game (until he starts coaching again in 2010), etc. I'm glad he didn't spend more than a sentence talking about that Giants-Panthers game. That game was pretty boring anyways.]
Penn State is insane.... Can anyone who bleeds Nittany blue honestly tell me Paterno has the energy to out-recruit coaches 40 years his junior for the best football players in the country?
[I know, right? Paterno has been piecing together embarrassing teams for years now. The dude can't get ANY talent. I mean, just look at the last few seasons:
2008: 11-1
2007: 9-4
2006: 9-4
2005: 11-1
If only Penn State were more like the Titans, who win *every* year.]
Drew Brees needs 402 yards to break Dan Marino's career record of 5,084 passing yards in a season.... Here's the interesting thing about that game: Sean Payton has that record in his hands, and in his play-calling. Almost literally.
[Almost. Literally.]
Good for Boston.... In this economy, should a baseball player be paid more than $20 million a year?
[John Henry needs every extra million that he can hang on to!]
Almost. Literally.
No wonder Tennessee wins every year. The Titans have the best defensive depth in recent NFL history.
[A couple of things wrong with this absurdly exaggerated couplet. One, while the Titans received impressive contributions from backup players yesterday, one game does not lend itself to a "best (anything) in recent NFL history" statement. One game. Settle down. And two, Tennessee wins every year? Really? Unless Pete is referring to Univ. of Tennessee women's basketball, I'm pretty sure he just made that up. Let's check:
2008: 13-2
2007: 10-6
2006: 8-8
2005: 4-12
2004: 5-11
I will skip the subsequent five pages that Pete wastes talking about coffee, Leon Washinton's eyes, Holmgren's last home game (until he starts coaching again in 2010), etc. I'm glad he didn't spend more than a sentence talking about that Giants-Panthers game. That game was pretty boring anyways.]
Penn State is insane.... Can anyone who bleeds Nittany blue honestly tell me Paterno has the energy to out-recruit coaches 40 years his junior for the best football players in the country?
[I know, right? Paterno has been piecing together embarrassing teams for years now. The dude can't get ANY talent. I mean, just look at the last few seasons:
2008: 11-1
2007: 9-4
2006: 9-4
2005: 11-1
If only Penn State were more like the Titans, who win *every* year.]
Drew Brees needs 402 yards to break Dan Marino's career record of 5,084 passing yards in a season.... Here's the interesting thing about that game: Sean Payton has that record in his hands, and in his play-calling. Almost literally.
[Almost. Literally.]
Good for Boston.... In this economy, should a baseball player be paid more than $20 million a year?
[John Henry needs every extra million that he can hang on to!]
Almost. Literally.
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