Just wanted to lob this one in the direction of Nils: Rob Neyer explains why Joe Mauer should have been AL MVP instead of Dustin Pedroia.
And "impossibly handsome sideburns" wasn't even part of his analysis!
Other than the thought of Nils high-fiving himself over the Mauer-love, this story is relatively uninteresting. The AL MVP was a total wash this year. Lots of pretty good candidates, but no one that really gets me excited. The more interesting part is looking to see which random dudes picked up MVP votes from the BBWAA.
My favorite was Jason Bartlett receiving a 5th-place vote (!!).
He missed 34 games, had an OPS+ of 82 (100 is league-AVERAGE), and he hit three fewer home runs this year than.... Carlos Zambrano.
Why not just totally mail it in and throw a vote Pavano's way?
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Well... Joe Mauer is D-REAM-Y. Have you seen his sideburns? Let's get with the program Archie. He's far superior than anyone else in baseball.
Sorry, britlar. The throne still belongs to Jeter. He is America embodied in one man.
Your vote for Mauer is not outrageous, though. As I believe Lincoln once said, "If it's good enough for a former Miss USA, it's good enough for me."
Like Samson, Joe Mauer's power is in his sideburns...which means he is powerless as a hitter without them.
Jeter, however, has his power in his douche-y nature...which means that he is powerless without being a dickhead Yankee.
(Is it journalism? Is it factual? This comment checks 'yes' to both)
I report, you decide who is the best hitting and best looking player in all of baseball.
Boys, boys, boys... I leave it to the facts. Dating Mariah Carey = Douche-tastic. No other question about it. Jeter is less superior for dating her. Did you see Glitter? 'Nough said.
Why do girls hate Mariah Carey? And they ALL do. It's science.
And britlar, while attempting to prove your point, you simultaneously discredit yourself by admitting that you saw "Glitter."
P.S. We can save you some space here on The Theorem to post your review of "High School Musical 3" if you want as well.
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