Happy Thanksgiving, From The Theorem

Hi all, just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. And to officially put you in the spirit, Drew Sharp of the Detroit Free Press proudly uses his gifts of logic to persuade us on why we should love a certain Thanksgiving tradition.

[T]radition should stand for something in sports, regardless of the outcomes.

[Ummm, that's the opposite of how traditions should work, right? If you are going to do something over and over and over and over and over again, you would probably want that something to have an awesome outcome, as opposed to an undeniably brutal outcome, no?]

Critics also should realize that the Thanksgiving game is the perfect TV burial ground for the Lions. Where would you put them if you took Thanksgiving away?

[Best. Point. Ever. This is my new favorite logic disaster that we've covered here at The Theorem. Sharp's main argument for not stripping the Lions of their annual Thanksgiving Day game? The Lions are SOOOO awful that if you took away their Thanksgiving Day game, you and the rest of the country might be forced to watch them on some OTHER day during the season! That deserves two QEDs.]

Plus, the Lions’ Thanksgiving game isn’t going anywhere as long as the Big Three remain among the NFL’s most supportive corporate partners.

[Ummmm, jeez, this is a little awkward, right? I mean, it is going to be potentially difficult for the Big Three (seriously? They still get to be called the "Big" Three?) to be a corporate partner of the NFL when they lose the "corporate" part of that phrase. Partners are good too, though. (See, Kemp, Shawn) (Yes! Finally, a Shawn Kemp tag!)]

I was all set to end this post on the high note of my gratuitous Shawn Kemp reference, but this closing anecdote was too perfect when juxtaposed with the final argument that precedes it.

Thanksgiving football remains special here, regardless of how poorly the Lions perform.

[Fair enough. I'm not doubting that the people of Detroit have many fond memories of childhood trips with their Dad to see the Lions play on Turkey Day. I wonder if Drew Sharp has just such a story to hammer home his point that THANKSGIVING FOOTBALL REMAINS SPECIAL HERE?]

My father took his three sons to the 1969 Thanksgiving game against Minnesota in a driving snowstorm.

[Yes....]

The Lions didn’t often beat the Vikings then. Of course, they don’t beat them now, either, but I digress. The Vikings blanked the Lions, 27-0.

[That's ok, that's ok. I'm sure you still had an awesome time....]

As my body temperature dropped, I asked my father a question.

[Could we come back again next year??? Pleeeeeeease, Dad!?!]

Considering we were having turkey for dinner that night, was it really necessary to subject ourselves to turkey at lunch?

[.....]

He never again took me to a Thanksgiving game — for which I was eternally grateful.

[Special, indeed.]

Here's wishing that your Thanksgiving remains special to you are yours as well!