Peter King Gets Paid For This: Vol. 6

I thought, for a moment, that Pete was going to make it through an entire MMQB unscathed this week. He almost did.

Adrian Peterson knows teams are starting to figure him out.

[He does? They are? Second in the NFL in rushing with 1180 yards. A robust 4.9 yards per carry average. Sounds about right.]

I'll have a story in Sports Illustrated this week, delving into the mind of one of the game's smartest players, Tampa Bay linebacker Derrick Brooks..... Brooks and the Bucs did a good job on Peterson....

[19 carries, 85 yards. Eh. How bout we say an "acceptable" job?]

In the story, I explain how Brooks and the Bucs tried to throw a front-seven net around Peterson on every logical rushing down...

[I'm pretty sure this is a commonly-applied strategy, no?]

...because the times he gashes a defense are usually the times he gets a hole....

[And that's what makes Peterson so amazing! Gaining yards when he gets a hole?? Wow, try outsmarting THAT, Belichick!]

"It says a lot about Derrick that he knows all that about me, even though he doesn't play me very often,'' Peterson said.

[Seriously! It's like Brooks is stalking you! Knowing that you gain yards when you have holes to run through?? That dude is probably watching you RIGHT NOW.]

Thumbs up and thumbs down for big Marriotts, like the Marriott Westshore in Tampa.

[OK?]

Good: High-def TVs in the rooms.... The Bad: Marriotts simply have to change their shampoo.

[If I flipped formats today, and put the quoted material in brackets, and my observations in italics, you might believe it right about now, wouldn't you?]

Marriotts have been using some Bath and Body Works girly shampoo for the past year or so, and when I get out of the shower, the perfume smell is revolting. Shampooing with soap is the only option -- a grotesque one, but a necessary evil now -- to avoid smelling like a woman.

[Mrs. Pete King just fired her new Bath and Body Works Cucumber Melon conditioner at her computer screen in a fit of rage. And now she's cutting off all of her hair with a pair of coupon-clipping scissors while muttering "Revolting? I'll show you revolting!!" to the dog.]

Where is this business [sportswriting] going?

[Someone should start a sarcastic observational website that is premised on that very question. I bet it would be fun.]