Manny is Big Pimping (Himself all Over MLB)

It's really not fair to pick on Manny Ramirez because he is:
1) just about smart enough for the fourth grade and he knows it and
2) Scott Boras has taken advantage of that fact to turn Manny into the sort of evil, money-first type of player that fans hate because when you've made something like $200 million already in your career they're not buying that you need to pad for retirement.

That said, Manny pimping himself to the highest bidder is a mix between Donald Trump and Jenna Jameson in its craven disregard for what is right in pursuit of money.

But it's Manny pimping himself, so he can't help but sound ridiculous when he does it.

"The [price of] gasoline is up, so I'm up," said Ramirez, to a joking justification of why he is demanding $20 million plus from a team silly enough to give it to an aging crazy man (who, while completely awesome at baseball, will not always be awesome at baseball. This is the post-steroid era. Guys don't remain good late into their 30s without drugs. It's a fact).

The key question is not if the recent drop in gas prices will make his pay demands go lower (haha - get it!?), but if saying that is as ridiculous as Latrell Sprewell's comment about holding out because he has to feed his family.

I say yes.

And bear with me. This all comes back to together and ties up in a nice bow.

Sprewell could and still might randomly flip out and kill someone, meaning that anything he says needs to be taken seriously. Manny could and still might need help tying his shoelaces, meaning that he is ridiculous, but lovably so.

Boras, of course, is an evil demon man (probably on the payroll of Halliburton and clearly a fun hater) who I am trying to find a way to get Sprewell to flip out and kill.