The South Likes Them Some Tim Tebow

We here at The Theorem haven't touched on the Heisman race to date, but now that it's approaching Thanksgiving, let's dig up some over-the-top arguments in favor of regional candidates. Guess who Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel thinks should win?

Who was it who predicted early last season that Tim Tebow -- after only two games as a starting quarterback at the University of Florida -- would become the first sophomore in history to win the Heisman Trophy, would, in fact, win multiple Heismans and would go down as one of the greatest college football players in history?

[I bet it was Lee Corso. That dude is always saying crazy things like that.]

That would be me.

[Dammit! Mike Bianchi was going to be my next guess!]

Don't believe Chris Huston, the founder of HeismanPundit.com -- a Web site devoted to the most prestigious individual award in all of sports. Huston has already buried Tebow beneath the pyrotechnic passing numbers of the Big 12 (motto: We have the worst defense since the 1941 Yugoslavian Army).

[Awwww snap! That's right Chris Huston. We just went Bombing-of-Belgrade on your ass. With that aside, let's make the case for the REAL Heisman candidate, shall we?]

There's one-quarter of the season still to be played. It's way too early to count out Touchdown Timmy. The autumn leaves are just starting to change, the biggest games of the year are still ahead and Tebow is turning into Tebow once again.

[Nailed it! Forget about TDs and yards and dramatic wins. This year's Heisman Trophy will be awarded based solely on one criterion: Which one of the candidates turns into Tebow. The smart money is on Tebow. He's turned into Tebow before, and I certainly wouldn't bet against Tebow to turn into Tebow again.]

If you're scoring at home, Tebow has run for two or more touchdowns in each of the last three games and his seven rushing touchdowns over that span are more than any other player in the nation. In addition, his passer rating of 214.5 over the last three games leads the nation.

[Another great point. If you are scoring at home (which I am), then you should definitely only score the last three games. The rest of this season's games were stupid and you should totally ignore them in your analysis. Because, like it says in the Heisman Trophy bylaws (I'm pretty sure it says this), "The Heisman Trophy is awarded to the football player who exhibited the highest level of performance and excellence between October 25th and November 8th of said calendar year."]

Don't get me wrong, I tend to agree with both Dodd and Huston at this point. I have Tebow third or fourth on my list....

[Huh????? What the hell, man? Hey, Bianchi, remember when you wrote that article entitled "Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow set for another run at Heisman Trophy?"]

Because he [Tebow] won the Trophy last season, he will be given bonus points this season....

[That's also in the bylaws (and proven by the extensive list of repeat Heisman winners throughout history). So just to sum up, if you want to win the Heisman, here's what you have to do: (1) Turn into Tebow; and (2) Win the Heisman the previous year.]

So don't fret, Tebow worshippers. As FDR himself once said, "You have nothing to fear but fear itself . . . and, oh yeah, a loss to South Carolina on Saturday."

[FDR didn't say that. I'm pretty sure it was William Tecumseh Sherman.]