Jason Whitlock is an Insane Person: Vol. 1

This is a joke, right? Right??

I'd like to see commissioner Roger Goodell turn the league's "discipline problem" into an offseason, reality-TV show....

[Isn't that called the NFL Draft Combine?]

The commissioner needs a tool to reward players for good behavior and punish players for bad behavior. Major League Baseball has an arbitration system.

[Non sequitur much?]

Here's how it would work:

[(sliding to edge of seat)]

At the end of the season, each NFL team would be allowed to recommend two players be sentenced to offseason Arbitration Court. A team could charge one player with a felony, seek to have his entire contract voided, a return of the unearned, pro-rated portions of his signing bonus and a one-year ban from the league.

[You know what? I'm not even sure I can sufficiently mock this. Seriously, Whitlock? Ugh. For starters, Arbitration Court? Isn't "arbitration" a mechanism expressly outside the context of a court? (I just looked it up. I'm right.) Secondly, a team could charge one player with a felony?? What is this, Police Academy 4? Whitlock may be onto something with that last idea, though. Contract litigation would make for great TV.]

The cases would be tried and aired in March before the draft, eight teams per week. Misdemeanor trials would last four hours of evidence presentation, 30 minutes for closing arguments and 30 minutes for juries to deliberate and vote. The felony cases could stretch over two days.

[Now you know why this is Vol. 1. You would expect more iterations of this post too, right?]

NFL players would love it.

[Except for the illegal contract terminations and public shaming.]

OK, Whitlock. That's enough crazy for today.