the theorem

There is a theorem that posits that a monkey, given infinite time, could randomly pound away at a keyboard and at some point during infinity put together a string of characters that would be in the exact order as the characters that make up the works of Shakespeare.

Sportswriters today, based on their output, are seemingly testing a version of that theorem.

Luckily for them, infinity is a long time.  They may end up randomly creating works of meaning and significance.

Lucky for you, we're here to skewer them.  Because, like I said, infinity is a long time.