Peter Gammons Hates the Rain

Stupid weather. Ruining Peter Gammons' enjoyment of the Series. I couldn't agree with him more:

Somewhere in the muck of Monday's episode of "The Perfect Storm Hits the World Series," the astute Julie Kicklighter texted, "the Trop doesn't look so bad right now."

[I had to Google "Julie Kicklighter," and I still don't know who he is talking about. And it certainly doesn't sound like someone who is "astute." But she texted Peter Gammons! I bet Gammons responded to her text with a text telling her how astute she is.]

So true. Almost forgiven is all the noise from the megaboard at Tropicana Field.

[Things that Peter Gammons doesn't like: (1) Precipitation; (2) Loud Noise. Things Gammons likes: (1) Julie Kicklighter.]

What could have been a fascinating World Series played by two teams with engaging young players has turned into the worst ever, unless you like baseball sprinkled in with ab machine infomercials and a 46-hour half-inning break.

[Wait, is Ted Stevens ghost-writing this article? Ab machine infomercials? You know who probably uses ab machines?? The engaging young players of which you speak.]

And as the winds and the rains and even the snowflakes rattled across Pennsylvania, there was no chance they could move the bottom of the sixth inning to St. Pete, similar to what happened in the 1959 Junior World Series between Gene Mauch's Minneapolis Millers and Preston Gomez's Havana Sugar Kings.

[Great point. This World Series sucks because it doesn't stack up to the "1959 Junior World Series." Who can forget those epic Sugar Kings teams?! That was when men were men (or, hombres, in the case of the '59 JWS).]

And remember, folks, next year's World Series is going to be a week later.

[Totally agree. This year's World Series sucks because NEXT year's World Series will REALLY suck. Ipso facto!]

When this World Series finally ends, there will be a great deal of discussion about how to avoid this sort of misery.

[Didn't China create crazy anti-rain rockets for the Olympics that they would just shoot up into the sky?? I bet Gammons knows a guy....]

There are a lot of questions that will be weighed after this, the worst World Series in memory. The first?

[Is the internet actually a series of tubes? Oh! And I bet the second question is about how awesome Julie Kicklighter is.]